


I Wanna Hold Your Hand (But On my Terms)

by Johnlocked221b



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Consent Discussion, Ed is worried, Edward only wants to help, Explicit Consent, M/M, PTSD, Touch Aversion, Touch anxiety brought on by PTSD, touch anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 22:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10977060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnlocked221b/pseuds/Johnlocked221b
Summary: After being nearly killed by Ed, Oswald has a hard time being touched by him, even though they are in a relationship. Ed misses the hugs and they talk.Short and sweet.





	I Wanna Hold Your Hand (But On my Terms)

Edward wasn’t sure what to expect when he and Oswald finally became a thing, but it wasn’t this. It was almost like they weren’t together at all. Except for the way Oswald looked at him, again like he’d hung the moon in the sky, and the way their hands brushed, there was no indication that Oswald even felt particularly _comfortable_ around him.

 

He did not like to be touched without warning. Hugs were few and far between and kisses were so rare that they nearly did without. Oswald rather enjoyed holding hands, but only sometimes, and he refused to sleep in the same bed. In fact, he kept the bedroom door locked, most nights.

 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you.” He explained, one evening, in front of the fire. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just can’t…right now. You understand, yes?”

 

Edward’s brows furrowed and he frowned at his tea. “No, I don’t, actually.”

 

Oswald gave a long-suffering sigh and watched flames dance around the wood. “Every time I open myself up to someone, I get hurt. I nearly died last time, and by your hand no less. Forgive me, old friend, if I seem a bit wary of touch now. It’s not you-“

 

“It’s me.” Edward finished for him, closing his eyes. It was so cliché. Ed had heard that a thousand times.

 

Oswald’s eyes studied Ed’s face. “Yes…”

 

“It is me, Oswald. You don’t have to lie. I was the one who shot you and you don’t avoid anyone else this way.”

 

“To be fair, I don’t really get around to touching many other-“

 

“Regardless, you’ve been keeping your distance because you’re…afraid of me, aren’t you, Oswald?” Ed’s voice wasn’t impatient or upset. It sounded more sad than anything. Ashamed.

 

“No, I-“ Oswald scoffed, trying to play it off with a smile. “O-of course not, Ed. Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

“You are.” Ed confirmed, eyes darting back and forth between Oswald’s.

 

Oswald’s smile dropped and he held Ed’s gaze, quietly. His cheeks tinged pink.

 

“I can’t blame you.” Ed told him, looking down into his tea. “What I did to you was…it was…I-“

 

Oswald set his hand on top of Ed’s and curled his fingers around his palm. “It’s okay.”

 

“No-“ Ed started but Oswald shook his head and squeezed his hand.

 

“I think I should be the one to decide whether it is or is not okay. Just…as long as you never do it again.”

 

“Oswald, I wouldn’t. To think of doing that now, I-I-...”

 

Oswald nodded.“I know. I forgave you a long time ago, Ed. It’s just the forgetting that’s proving impossible.”

 

“So what do we do?” Ed asked softly, setting down his tea.

 

“We move on.” Oswald said.

 

“How?” Ed asked. “I’ll do anything.”

 

Oswald smiled at that, remembering the night he’d said something very similar on this very same couch. “I know you will. Thank you, Edward.”

 

Edward looked down at their hands and then to the fireplace.

 

“We’ll take it slow.” Oswald explained after a while. “I’ll initiate touch and I’ll do my best to…progress with my comfort level. Naturally, you’ll do the same in telling me if anything I do is unwelcome.”

 

Edward nodded. “Of course.”

 

Oswald looked up and met his eyes. “One day, this will all seem so silly, but you must be patient with me now, Edward.”

 

Ed nodded silently, his eyes promising Oswald that he would.

 

Oswald grinned and squeezed his fingers. “Thank you, Ed. I love you.”

 

 


End file.
